There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you if you don`t take anything personally. You will be immune to black magicians, and no spell can affect you, no matter how strong. The whole world can applaud you, and if you don`t take it personally, you`re immune. Someone can intentionally send an emotional poison, and if you don`t take it personally, you won`t eat it. If you don`t take the emotional poison, it`s going to get worse in the sender, but not in you. The second agreement invites us to recognize that we are all working from the point of view of our own unique experiences. My perspective is different from your point of view, and while we share a multitude of commonalities and connections, your actions, thoughts and words are not for me. Whatever a friend posts on IG, tells me over coffee or thinks about how I dress, for example, it`s not about me. (Emphasize, because it`s still pretty hard for me to see, and my guess is that I`m not alone.) When I take something that a friend does personally, I focus, I used myself, I used limited information to reach conclusions, and I ignore their experience and perspective.

Besides, I tell myself lies. A good friend of mine recently told me that she wanted thicker skin, because she sometimes took comments from others in person. She is sensitive and carries her heart on her sleeve, and that`s what I love about her. It made me think… If it developed thicker skin, what could be the advantage? I can only imagine more layers for more emotions and reactions, to get stuck. Another idea, however, pushes back their way of thinking so as not to take things personally. So the benefits seem endless! All of this said that if you are in friendship with someone whose words or actions harm them, it is healthy to set limits, create boundaries and honor you. You can experience great feelings, and these are all real and valid. Feeling hurt doesn`t mean taking something personal. However, in the healing process, it will be important to practice this agreement and ensure that the person`s actions were not above you and/or your worth. This deal is so hard for me.

I have always considered myself strong and confident, authentic and confident. Recently, when I really tried to get out of my head and realize how scared I was to disappoint someone. I try to show people what they want in me, because they are only the parts of me that they accept and approve of, and they hide the real me. Of course, this is because I take almost everything personally. It`s an opening of the eyes to see that… And yet, I don`t know how to change it. How can I believe that I am good enough or even wonderful enough? And if it were me, others wouldn`t see that? I feel like when I tell myself I`m doing things, another of my mental tricks. I want to feel good, but I really don`t know how. Not really. Before, I thought I could prove it to others, and especially to myself, by running marathons, by doing my doctorate, by having the “perfect” life (marriage, children, career, travel, etc.), to be a faithful and thoughtful friend, to help the less fortunate…

in fact, try to be perfect. It`s not working. I still think I`m not worth it, I feel like a scam, I`m afraid to be a disappointment to everyone. So, basically… I still have a long way to go. And yes, isn`t it amazing how much your perspective changes when you stop taking other people personally? That`s what he did for me. I love, I love, how much less I am able to customize someone else`s mood and study. I think all four are equally important, this agreement has had the greatest impact on my life….

First, write this down and paste it somewhere you see it every day: don`t take anything in person. So be careful when you take things in person. How do you know that happens when most of them are unconsciously? They`re triggered.

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